A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.
%
You'll feel much better once you've given up hope.
%
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
%
"If we do not wish to fight, we can prevent the enemy from engaging us even though the lines of our encampment be merely traced out on the ground. All we need do is to throw something odd and unaccountable in his way."
- Sun Tzu, "The Art of War"
%
You can bomb the world to pieces but you can't bomb the world to peace.
%
~I held a falling star and it wept for me, dying.
%
If less is more
Then I will do nothing
And overwhelm
The world
%
That is not dead that can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die...
%
La mayyitan ma qadirun yatabaqqa sarmadi,
Fa idha yaji' al-shudhdhadh fa-l-maut qad yantahi...
%
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
%
One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
%
The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
%
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"
- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
%
Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.
%
If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.
%
"One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio changes to one quarter as many ..."
- Anthony Chevins
%
First Law of Bicycling:
No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.
%
Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
%
"For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something."
- Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to the U.S.
%
And as we stand on the edge of darkness
Let our chant fill the void
That others may know
In the land of the night
The ship of the sun
Is drawn by
The grateful dead.
- Tibetan "Book of the Dead," ca. 4000 BC.
%
Avoid reality at all costs.
%
The objective of all dedicated employees should be to thoroughly analyze all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have answers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve these problems when called upon.
However, When you are up to your ass in alligators it is difficult to remind yourself your initial objective was to drain the swamp.
%
The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on.
%
Fifth Law of Procrastination:
Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that there is nothing important to do.
%
Gray's Law of Programming:
`n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as `n' tasks.
Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law:
`n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as `n' trivial tasks.
%
Preudhomme's Law of Window Cleaning:
It's on the other side.
%
~The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
%
Mosher's Law of Software Engineering:
Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job.
%
"The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding."
- Justice Louis D. Brandeis
%
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"
- Friedrich Nietzsche
%
"But thus I do counsel you, my friends: distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful!"
- Friedrich Neitzsche
%
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."
- Friedrich Neitzsche
%
"The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends."
- Friedrich Neitzsche
%
"A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all."
- Friedrich Neitzsche
%
"It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right - especially when one is right."
- Friedrich Neitzsche
%
George Washington is the only president who didn't blame the previous administration for his troubles.
%
"We should every night call ourselves to an account; What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift."
- Seneca
%
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
- E. F. Schumacher
%
"Anything too stupid to be said is sung."
- Voltaire
%
~DON'T STEAL
(The government doesn't like competition.)
%
Fisherman's Oath:
Early to bed,
Early to rise,
Fish like hell,
And make up lies.
%
~I want life to change, but I don't know if it can, for a man or machine or whatever the fuck I am.
%
Deaf forever to the battle's din...
%
Better lives have been lived in the margins, locked in prison and lost on the gallows than have ever been enshrined in palaces.
%
~Piracy != Theft
Look it up.
%
"Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
- Sun Tzu, "The Art of War"
%
Leibowitz's Rule:
When hammering a nail, you will never hit your finger if you hold the hammer with both hands.
%
"If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you."
- Muhammad Ali
%
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces in any kind of poker.
%
"It's impossible to awaken a man who is pretending to be asleep."
- Navajo saying
%
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my father did, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
%
Teach a man to make fire, and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
%
"Good bye. I am leaving because I am bored."
- George Saunders, last words
%
Hitchcock's Staple Principle:
The stapler runs out of staples only while you are trying to staple something.
%
"games dont make people violent, lag does."
- [j0n0] (bash.org QDB #45789)
%
The first casualty of war is the truth.
%
You build cruise missiles in your back yard, I pity the person that messes with you.
%
"Hell is other people."
- Jean-Paul Sartre
%
"Most legislators are so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instruction were printed on the heel."
- From one of the FreeBSD fortune files
%
Vale, et pro piscibus gratias ago.
%
#So long, and thanks for all the fish.
%
"I am a man, I only know 16 colours. Hazel is a nut, not a colour."
- Tyebo
%
MR DUCKS
MR NOT DUCKS
CDEDBD WINGS
WHALE OIL BEEF HOOKED
MR DUCKS
%
That which does not kill me, makes me stronger.
...
And YOU have not killed me.
%
"... because I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds, alright?"
- George Carlin
%
If knowledge is power then to be unknown is to be unconquerable.
%
Through the haze of battle I saw the glint of sun on golden mane, the sheen of glory clad in mail, and I dropped my sword and wept at the idiocy of war.
%
"Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see."
- Jack Handy
%
When you have eliminated the impossible, what is left must be the truth.
%
Reality is just metaphoric stories through which the truth about reality is hidden.
%
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
%
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
%
~Light is only a shadow cast by the darkness of the stars.
%
~Come on babe, spread your wings and drift with me into eternal chaos... wouldn't that be fun?
%
If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
%
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
%
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
%
These are only my opinions. You should see my convictions!
%
Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question!
%
Justice: A decision in your favour.
%
Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
%
COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
%
Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I pry up is not nailed down.
%
But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?
%
Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat.
%
All I ask to prove is that money can't make me happy!
%
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you have it made.
%
Of all the people I've met, you're certainly one of them.
%
Commit suicide. A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.
%
I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol.
%
Too much month left at the end of the money.
%
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
%
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
%
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
%
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
%
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
%
~Maybe this world is another planet's Hell...
%
Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
%
Ninety percent of everything is crap.
%
That that is is not that that is not.
%
Yawning is an orgasm for your face.
%
Murphy was an optimist.
%
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
%
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
%
Don't cheat. Change the rules.
%
Do not remove this tagline under penalty of law.
%
I'll have what the guy in the casket had!
%
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much you play, you'll never be as good as the wall. I played a wall once, they're fucking relentless."
- Mitch Hedburg
%
"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up!""
- Mitch Hedburg
%
"Bananas are the opposite of stoplights, because with a stoplight it's like green means go ahead, yellow means slow down, and red means wait. On bananas green means you have to wait, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the fuck did you get that banana at?"
- Mitch Hedburg
%
"I don't have a microwave but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit."
- Mitch Hedburg
%
"At some comedy clubs they pass out comment cards. You fill it out with your name and address, and there's a line for comments for people to put what they think. Sometimes people write negative things, and that's not necessary. I've read some that say "Mitch sucks" but I look up above and it has their name and address. That's right, I do suck, but I've got a lot of free time."
- Mitch Hedburg
%
"I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me."
- Mitch Hedburg
%
"I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out-of-order" sign. Just "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience. We're sorry for the fact that you can still get up there.""
- Mitch Hedburg
%
"Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets."
- Mitch Hedburg
%
MCSE is to computers as McDonalds Certified Chef is to fine cuisine.
%
#~< Jaayy> I like my coffee the way I like my niggers.
< Naive-EOC> Dead?
< Derid-EOC> In the Field?
< Ball-licker> In jail?
< Humur> Killing each other?
< Naive-EOC> Stealing?
< Sailym> Covered in blood?
< Humur> 5$ a piece?
< Derid-EOC> Stupid?
< Jaayy> ...
< Jaayy> BLACK YOU FUCKING RACIST BASTARDS! I LIKE MY COFFEE BLACK!
%
You know you've landed gear-up when it takes full power to taxi.
%
It's only fraud if Congress hasn't been paid enough!
%
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favour of the idea that life is serious."
- Brendan Gill
%
~No sig this time.
%
"It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over."
- Edna St. Vincent Millay
%
"You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun."
- Al Capone
%
"I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's, and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper."
- Thomas Jefferson
%
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
- Erica Jong
%
What's the difference between a lawyer and a sperm cell?
The sperm has a one in ten-million chance of eventually becoming a human being!
%
"A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled."
- Sir Barnett Cocks
%
Adorn our helmets of war...
%
~Walk the world and you'll find your soul; search your soul and you'll discover the world.
%
Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom:
No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately one billion Chinese people don't give a fuck.
%
I see a planet where love is foremost, where war is non-existant. A planet of peace, and a plent of understanding. I see a planet called utopia. And I see us invading that planet because they'd never expect it.
%
"The broad masses of a population are more amenable to the appeal of rhetoric than to any other force."
- Adolf Hitler
%
"The great masses of people ... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one."
- Adolf Hitler
%
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
%
I am become Death, the shatterer of worlds.
%
"Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong."
- John G. Diefenbaker
%
"I don't mind being a symbol but I don't want to become a monument. There are monuments all over the Parliament Buildings and I've seen what the pigeons do to them."
- Tommy Douglas
%
"Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world."
- Tommy Douglas
%
"Man can now fly in the air like a bird, swim under the ocean like a fish, he can burrow into the ground like a mole. Now if only he could walk the earth like a man, this would be paradise."
- Tommy Douglas
%
"I am hurt, but I am not slain. I shall lay me down and bleed a while, then rise and fight again."
- Tommy Douglas
%
"Life is the farce we are all forced to endure."
- Arthur Rimbaud, "A Season In Hell"
%
Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people.
%
Never hate your enemies. It clouds your judgement.
%
~Tears on a river
Push on shove
Don't mean much
Joker on Jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
A dead man's touch
Whisper on a scream
Doesn't mean a thing
%
Someone call somebody
The asylum's under siege
Inmates took a hostage
I'll be damned if it's not me
%
~Fire in the dark,
Pounding in my brain,
Driven by the chant calling out my name.
I toss and turn, I can't sleep.
Your kiss burns, through my dreams.
%
Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.
%
"The scandal isn't what's illegal, the scandal is what's legal."
- Senator Barack Obama
%
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost.
%
When you're feeling down,
When you're feeling blue,
Ask yourself:
"Bitch, what would Rick James do?"
%
"A man does not have himself killed for a half-pence a day or for a petty distinction. You must speak to the soul in order to electrify him."
- Napoleon Bonaparte
%
"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win."
- Sun Tzu
%
"Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility."
- Ambrose Bierce
%
~"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."
- The Buddha
%
"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, but the one most responsive to change."
- Charles Darwin
%
"It is entirely seemly for a young man killed in battle to lie mangled by the bronze spear. In his death all things appear fair."
- Homer
%
"A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupry
%
"Beep...beep...beep...beep..."
- Sputnik I
%
"The real problem is not whether machines think, but whether men do."
- B.F. Skinner
%
Everything is possible. The impossible just takes longer.
%
You can't cross a chasm in two short jumps.
%
What is history, but a fable agreed upon?
%
Judge a man not by the compassion he shows for his friends, but by the compassion he shows for his enemies.
%
I am not ashamed - only defeated.
%
~I tried to remember the agonies of mortal existence, but then I was arrested by the sweet music stars make as they shiver together in their galactic symphony.
%
Communism is like Spandex. Good idea, but then real people started using it. Things got really ugly from there.
%
Using Linux is like using Windows, except every time you try to do something like install a program or a driver or set a different resolution, a big black dude runs in and kicks you in the side of the head.
%
"I love the way Microsoft follows standards. In much the same manner that fish follow migrating caribou."
- Paul Tomblin, "Scary Devil Monestary"
%
I, or one of my teammates, shall cause you to become electroencephalographically challenged.
%
"The best measure of a man's honest isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
- Arthur Clarke
%
Veni Vidi Vici
%
The truth is there is something terribly wrong with this country.
%
People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.
%
Those who are responsible will be held accountable.
%
"Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. There is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof."
- V, "V For Vendetta"
%
It's true I didn't say it wasn't true, but by not saying what was unsaid I was saying what would be the truth if I had said the truth, if indeed I didn't say the truth in the first place.
%
"There is nothing to fear but fear itself."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
%
"Whenever I am given the choice between two evils, I always select the one I haven't tried before."
- Mae West
%
"A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad."
- Christopher Case
%
"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."
- A. Whitney Brown
%
"Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?"
- Jon Stewart
%
"I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners."
- Jeff Stilson
%
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
- Sue Murphy
%
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
- Albert Einstein
%
"We will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
%
You don't really own anything you couldn't carry at a dead run while firing an AK-47 over your shoulder.
%
"What is is the was of what shall be."
- Lao Tzu
%
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
%
How do you get a Cisco Certified Network Administrator off your porch?
...
Pay for your pizza.
%
Pain lasts, kid. It's how you know you're alive. Sometimes I think this growing up thing is just pain management.
%
I was compelled to give Vlad his gun back... one bullet at a time.
%
Sum quod eris, fui quod es.
%
#I am what you will be, I have been what you are.
%
There's something out there bigger than what's eating me alive.
%
Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
%
Life is pretty pathetic when even your own hallucinations lie to you.
%
~You're as fine as anything's fine,
Though I just walk and I watch you talk,
Your memory's on my mind.
%
~Wounded deep in battle, I stand stuffed like some soldier undaunted
To her cheshire smile I'll stand on file
She's all I ever wanted
%
The road is empty,
The subway lies ahead,
There is no music all the sounds have gone dead.
The day is misty,
There's no life around,
'Cause there's something wrong in this town.
%
Hide. I know there are things to hide from.
%
"I have tried lately to read Shakespeare, and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me."
- Charles Darwin
%
Sorry isn't an excuse when you do something stupid on purpose.
%
I've figured it out. If you ever get mugged by someone, just say, "Take it easy man, all I've got is a $16 bill!", then knee him in the nuts when he tries to figure out what the fuck you just said.
%
The world ends with neither a bang nor whimper
But to great peals of cockroach hilarity
So long and thanks for all the crumbs under the refrigerator.
%
Systems Administration is about knowing what you know, knowing what you don't know and figure out how to know what you don't know.
%
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as you possibly can, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
%
"Curiousity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat."
- Unknown
%
Soylent Green - The taste differs from person to person.
%
Blessed are the pessimists, for they have made backups.
%
Evolution is a 'theory', just like gravity.
If you don't like it, go jump off a bridge.
%
Russian Roulette!
Run this in bash (as root):
[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo \"You live\"
%
It's always a long day. 86400 doesn't fit into a short.
%
An essay should be like a skirt.
Long enough to cover what's required but short enough to keep it interesting.
%
"And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom."
- Fight Club
%
"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."
- Fight Club
%
"With insomnia, nothing's real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy."
- Fight Club
%
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."
- Fight Club
%
"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."
- Fight Club
%
The people you are after are the people you depend on. We develop your apps, we backup your data. We route your packets, we defend your networks while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.
%
"Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we drive your ambulances. We connect your calls, we guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us."
- Fight Club
%
"If you woke up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?"
- Fight Club
%
"The things you own end up owning you."
- Fight Club
%
"My prison shall be my grave before I will budge a jot; for I owe my conscience to no mortal man."
- William Penn
%
"The secret of being a bore is to tell everything."
- Voltaire
%
It is better to risk sparing a guilty person than to condemn an innocent one.
%
It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong.
%
Doubt is not an agreeable condition, but certainty is an absurd one.
%
A witty saying proves nothing.
%
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
%
~Q: You've called Bush a loser.
Harry Reid: And a liar.
Q: You've apologized for the loser comment.
Harry Reid: But never for the liar, have I?
%
"A time will come when a politician who has willfully made war and promoted international dissension will be as sure of the dock and much surer of the noose than a private homicide. It is not reasonable that those who gamble with men's lives should not stake their own."
- H. G. Wells
%
"What is a throne? - a bit of wood gilded and covered in velvet. I am the state- I alone am here the representative of the people."
- Napoleon
%
"Kiss the feet of Popes provided their hands are tied."
- Napoleon
%
Everything has a limit, even human emotions.
%
"Experience proves that armies are not always sufficient to save a nation; while a nation defended by its people is ever invincible."
- Napoleon
%
"Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets."
- Napoleon
%
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon
%
"He who fears being conquered is certain of defeat."
- Napoleon
%
"I am never angry when contradicted, I seek to be enlightened."
- Napoleon
%
"If I always appear prepared, it is because before entering an undertaking, I have meditated long and have foreseen what might occur. It is not genius where reveals to me suddenly and secretly what I should do in circumstances unexpected by others; it is thought and preparation."
- Napoleon
%
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon
%
"The police invents more than it discovers."
- Napoleon
%
"Strategy is the art of making use of time and space. I am less concerned about the latter than the former. Space we can recover, lost time never."
- Napoleon
%
"The allies we gain by victory, will turn against us upon the bare whisper of our defeat."
- Napoleon
%
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed. The hands acquire shaking. The shaking becomes a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
%
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
%
#Who will guard the guardians?/watch the watchers
%
It's all for nothing if you don't have freedom.
%
Every man dies, not every man really lives.
%
"The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fucked."
- Bravehart
%
I don't care if it's 90,000 hectares. That lake was not my doing.
%
I trust everyone... it's the devil inside them I don't trust.
%
If you think that things cannot get worse, then you probably just lack sufficient imagination.
%
Knowledge is knowing that the street is one-way. Wisdom is looking both ways anyways.
%
It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.
%
~If you're going to teach creationism in schools, I want you to preach evolution in church.
%
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
%
A criminal is just a business man without sufficient capital.
%
"House guarded by a shotgun 3 days a week. Guess which days."
%
"I could've eaten alphabets and CRAPPED OUT A BETTER ESSAY."
%
Nothing would ever get done if it weren't for the last minute.
%
This is a quantum car. I don't know where I am but I know I'm going really fast!
%
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car's window!
%
You drive like old people fuck... slow and sloppy!
%
"Who are you and how did you get in here?!"
"I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith."
%
Landing: A controlled mid-air collision with a large rock.
%
A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon. Avoid him. He's a Commie.
%
If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile.
%
"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong."
- Abraham Lincoln
%
~Don't think that a small group of dedicated individuals can't change the world. It's the only thing that ever has.
%
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute talk with the average voter."
- Winston Churchill (attributed)
%
"To win a hundred victories in a hundred battles is not the highest excellence; the highest excellence is to subdue the enemy's army without fighting at all."
- Sun-Tzu
%
It takes a strong man to fight. It takes an even stronger man to walk away.
%
"Mr. Madison, what you just said - is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
%
Sometimes the best way to deliver a punch is, step back.
But step back too far, you ain't fightin' at all.
%
Guy Fawkes: The only man to enter parliament with honest intentions.
%
The stupider people think you are, the more suprised they will be when you kill them...
%
"A government afraid of its citizens is a Democracy. Citizens afraid of government is tryranny!"
- Thomas Jefferson
%
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning.
%
"Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary."
- Mahatma Gandhi
%
People who need their government to enforce their religion must not have much faith in the power of its message.
%
Random Advice: When people stop to think, they take their eyes off of whatever they're looking at. If someone is ever looking for a fight and is about to start flailing, just ask them a question. Something dumb, irrelevent and obscure. They will take their eyes off of you to think about it at which point you kick them in the balls and run for it.
%
Shotgun Method: Fire a whole bunch of crap at a target. Something has to hit it!
%
!.___.
{O,o} O RLY?
/)__)
-"-"-
%
"More glorious to merit a sceptre than to possess one."
- Napoleon
%
"In politics stupidity is not a handicap."
- Napoleon
%
"Speeches pass away, but acts remain."
- Napoleon
%
"The best way to keep one's word is not to give it."
- Napoleon
%
"There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time."
- Napoleon
%
Classrooms in Canada are actually used for teaching... not just for target practice like our neighbours to the south.
%
There are 1100000000 kinds of people in the world: Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who know what 'little-endian' is.
%
"Victory passes back and forth between men."
- Paris, in Homer's Illiad
%
Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
%
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
%
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal", "Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."
- George Carlin
%
"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
%
"If you're saying you didn't know smoking was bad for you, then you're lying through the hole in your trachea."
- Dennis Miller
%
"There are four boxes to use in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order."
- Ed Howdershelt
%
< Curufin> You know, I think there's a point in your life when you realize that life's just not worth it anymore. When you're giving more than you're taking, and there's just no joy left in life.
< Eldamehomework> Curufin: That's what ice cream is for :-D
< Curufin> I'm lactose intolerant.
%
< Goo> Ok, when I think to myself "the Nazis are coming, protect the churches!" in a 17th century English accent, it's time to go to bed.
%
Sniper's Creed: One hit, one kill. If you run, you'll only die tired.
%
Reinvent the wheel only at either a lower cost, greater effectiveness, or your own personal enrichment and satisfaction.
%
Information wants a fueled airplane waiting at the hanger and no one gets hurt.
%
The Abigail Oath for Sysadmins:
I am hired because I know what I am doing, not because I will do whatever I am told is a good idea. This might cost me bonuses, raises, promotions, and may even label me as "undesirable" by places I don't want to work at anyway, but I don't care. I will not compromise my own principles and judgement without putting up a fight. Of course, I won't always win, and I will sometimes be forced to do things I don't agree with, but if I am my objections will be known, and if I am shown to be right and problems later develop, I will shout "I told you so!" repeatedly, laugh hysterically, and do a small dance or jig as appropriate to my heritage.
%
I'm an apatheist. The question is no longer interesting, and the answer no longer matters.
%
"People who are willing to rely on the government to keep them safe are pretty much standing on Darwin's mat, pounding on the door, screaming, "Take me, take me!""
- Carl Jacobs
%
"It seems that there are two different sorts of people: People who care about the important stuff--like if a job gets done, and if it gets done well--and clueless fucking morons who wouldn't know a job well done if it bit them on the ass, and so think that "professionalism" is a better indicator of the quality of work."
- Dave Brown
%
"I've always been of the opinion that one's fellow sysadmins should be treated with the politeness due a group of well-armed individuals."
- Anthony DeBoer, "Scary Devil Monestary"
%
"I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few."
- Adolph Hitler
%
I've always been of the opinion that there is not a problem that cannot be solved by a well placed explosive or two.
%
"Nahh, that impending sound of doom is just the blades on my leatherman locking."
- Majdi, "Scary Devil Monastery"
%
"To sysadmin or not to sysadmin... that is the question, whether tis nobler in the minde to suffer the slings and arrowes of outragious fortune, or climb to the top of the building with a fucking high-powered rifle."
- Greg Spiegelberg, "Scary Devil Monastery"
%
"The best answer when anybody asks if you're any good with explosives is to hold up both hands and simply say "Ten."."
- Anthony DeBoer, "Scary Devil Monastery"
%
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their consciences."
- C.S. Lewis
%
Angst: A form of suffering caused by too much thinking; a phenomenon probably considered incomprehensible by those who own a reacreational vehicle.
- Rick Byan, "The Cynic's Dictionary"
%
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
%
"Some people never go crazy, what truly horrible lives they must lead."
- H. Chinaski
%
"How dare you judge those who would walk a different Path, when you can no longer even find the road yourselves. You look down upon the sleepers as blind pawns, forgetting that they hold the dreams that can control reality. Who then is truly asleep."
- Heylel Teomim Thoabath bani Solifcato
%
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
- Teddy Roosevelt
%
"America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've got to want it bad, because it's going to put up a fight. It's going to say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil; who's standing center stage, advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." You want to claim that this land is the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest.
Now show me that. Defend that. Celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free."
- President Andrew Shepard, "The American President"
%
"...not once has it occurred to any of us to look at a Potomac River bridge and wonder if tanks are going to roll across. As my friend said, there are a lot of places where, with the civilian government this weakened or ridiculed, and the legislature this paralyzed by politics, the army would roll on in and take over. And it never occurs to us to wonder that it doesn't happen."
- Margaret Ryan
%
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling a pig in mud. Soon, you realize the pig is dirty, and he likes it.
%
"In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them."
- Johann von Neumann
%
"Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement, for even the very wise cannot see all ends."
- J.R.R. Tolkien, Gandalf in "The Hobbit"
%
"I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops."
- Stephen Jay Gould
%
"What good fortune for our governments that people do not think."
- Adolph Hitler
%
"I don't buy temporary insanity as a murder defense. Breaking into someone's home and ironing all their clothes is temporary insanity."
- Sue Kolinsky
%
~"It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, but that I believe he is a child of Satan here to destroy the planet Earth."
- Bill Hicks
%
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
%
"The thing is Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."
- Peter, "Office Space"
%
Go lick a screen door.
%
"They say that when you play a Microsoft CD backwards you can hear demonic voices... but that's nothing - when you play it forwards it installs Windows."
- Sekt (bash.org QDB #37449)
%
Eat right, stay fit, and die anyway.
%
Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't have it, neither will you.
%
Laugh at your problems. Everyone else does.
%
"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."
- George Bernard Shaw
%
"Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what they think it is you want to hear."
- Alan Corenk
%
It *is* a fight, and sometimes you have to take a swing.
%
Wireless means never having to say "AFK, bathroom".
%
"A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largess from the public treasury. From that time on the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury, with the results that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship."
- Alexander Fraser Tytler (1742 - 1813)
%
Driscoll's Observation: The product of the IQs of each member of a tech-support conversation is a constant.
%
"Sanity is like money, you should have just enough to get by. Any more and you turn into a freak."
- rone, "Scary Devil Monastery"
%
"If one gave me six lines written by the hand of the most honest man, I would find something in them to have him hanged."
- Cardinal Richelieu
%
"Well isn't that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day."
- Dr. Elliot Reid, "Scrubs"
%
"You do not examine legislation in light of the benefits it will convey if properly administered, but in light of the wrongs it would do and the harms it would cause if improperly administered."
- Lyndon Baines Johnson
%
"Well, take it from an old hand: the only reason it would be easier to program in C is that you can't easily express complex problems in C, so you don't."
- Erik Naggum (in comp.lang.lisp)
%
"If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy."
- James Madison, fourth US president
%
~Everything takes its toll but there's no tolls I can take. I haven't yet found a good reason to be awake.
%
~This planet's just an over-populated mental hospital.
%
"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilisation."
- Gerald Weinberg
%
"These machines have no common sense; they have not yet learned to "think," and they do exactly as they are told, no more and no less. This fact is the hardest concept to grasp when one first tries to use a computer."
- Donald Knuth
%
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil."
- Donald Knuth
%
"Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, 'How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't needed?'"
- Steve McConnell
%
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."
- Bertrand Russell
%
"Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight."
- Bill Gates
%
"The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time."
- Tom Cargill
%
"Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable."
- Ralph Johnson
%
"There are only two industries that refer to their customers as "users"."
- Edward Tufte
%
"Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris."
- Larry Wall
%
"UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity."
- Dennis Ritchie
%
"To iterate is human, to recurse divine."
- L. Peter Deutsch
%
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
%
Do monomaniacal paranoid schizophrenic agnostic dyslexic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if they might *be* the dog that's out to get them?
%
"A true friend stabs you in the front."
- Oscar Wilde
%
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power. You are free.
%
"This I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual."
- John Steinbeck
%
"Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives."
- Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
%
"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."
- Oscar Wilde, last words
%
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
- Voltaire
%
"Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
- Hermann Goering
%
"Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise!"
- Betrand Russell
%
"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others."
- Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky
%
"It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated."
- Alec Bourne
%
"Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."
- Oscar Wilde
%
"When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign: that the dunces are all in confederacy against him."
- Jonathan Swift
%
"The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius."
- Oscar Wilde
%
"In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%
"If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being, and who is willing to destroy his own heart?"
- Alexander Solzhenitsyn
%
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing."
- Albert Einstein
%
"He who angers you conquers you."
- Elizabeth Kenny
%
"To repeat what others have said, requires education, to challenge it, requires brains."
- Mary Pettibone Poole
%
"A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you."
- Bert Leston Taylor
%
"Don't comprimise yourself. You are all you've got."
- Janis Joplin
%
"All programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially attracts those who believe in happy endings and fairy godmothers. Perhaps the hundreds of nitty frustrations drive away all but those who habitually focus on the end goal. Perhaps it is merely that computers are young, programmers are younger, and the young are always optimists. But however the selection process works, the result is indisputable: "This time it will surely run," or "I just found the last bug.""
- Frederick Brooks, Jr.
%
"There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all."
- Peter F. Drucker
%
"Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim."
- George Santayana
%
Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
%
"Try to spend the next 30 seconds not thinking about a blue eyed polar bear."
- Fyodor Dostoevsky
%
ZENgineering: v, when you've looked at the obvious to solve a problem you start doing something completely different to fix it. Other examples of ZENingeering solutions are: rebooting the router the opposite side of the campus to where the lusers are reporting network problems (Tuesday). I have no idea what the ATM bridge/router was doing to affect the network. it's not even got anything plugged into the ethernet interfaces, and it only has one ATM port!
%
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
- Winston Churchill
%
"Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?"
- Maximus, "Gladiator"
%
"Everything will be alright in the end, if not, it's not the end."
%
Life is an encryption algorithm gone horribly wrong.
%
~The horizon crumples into a kaleidescope picture through the lens of a single tear, and then all fades to black...
%
""There's nothing wrong with the Diebold management that a shot of Brain-be-New IQ Enhancer wouldn't cure."
Is that what you kids are calling .357 Magnums now?"
- MadUndergrad (Slashdot Comment #16532891)
%
""Gah, kids don't spontaneously explode if they don't wear a helmet while tricycling."
You're clearly not rigging the detonators properly."
- Anonymous Coward (Slashdot Comment #16552562)
%
Your signal fades away and all I'm left with is static...
%
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
%
"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
- Eric Hoffer
%
"A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward."
- Jean Paul Richter
%
"When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'"
- Don Marquis
%
"Oh come on. This isn't shooting fish in a barrel, this is dropping a tactical nuke on a bucket full of carp."
- 'Faye', "Questionable Content" Web Comic (http://questionablecontent.net)
%
"A wise man's question contains half the answer."
- Solomon Ibn Gabirol
%
"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence."
- Henrik Tikkanen
%
"Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn't hold much water outside of Your Universe."
- Hugh Elliot
%
"A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin."
- H. L. Mencken
%
"Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved."
- Victor Hugo, "Les Miserables"
%
< cabbagehead227> so I came out of the closet today
< cabbagehead227> I was looking for my bowling ball, but all I found was a bunch of queers
%
"I think, therefore I'm single."
%
"A friend who used to work at 'research lab' related a story about a customer support line at 'company'. The support person said something on the order of 'You're not our only customer, you know,' to which his reply was, 'Perhaps not, but we're one of the few with tactical nuclear weapons.'"
%
"Women are soft, and fun to touch, but that does not stop them from being incarnations of pure evil."
- Bradford Johnson
%
"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
- Richard Jeni
%
"Computers will be small enough to hold in your hand, and everyone will have them. By the end of my lifetime [2020] you will be able to hold every word of the Library of Congress in your hands, and they will have passed a law against it."
- Michael Hart, Executive Director, Project Gutenberg
%
"Women wonder why men aren't romantic; it's like wondering why your wonderfully playful dog who you kicked in the head last night when it tried to greet you at the door is looking rather sullen."
- Rob Earhart
%
~"Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea."
- John Ciardi
%
"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."
- Nathaniel Borenstein
%
"And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee."
- Dennis Miller
%
"If you find yourself in a confusing situation, simply laugh knowingly and walk away."
- Rev. Jim Ignatowski
%
"I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?"
- Mort Sahl
%
"Individual rights are not subject to a public vote; a majority has no right to vote away the rights of a minority; the political function of rights is precisely to protect minorities from oppression by majorities (and the smallest minority on earth is the individual."
- Ayn Rand
%
"Political correctness is just tyranny with manners."
- Charlton Heston
%
"Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has."
- Martin Luther, "Table Talk"
%
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
- Philip K. Dick
%
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
%
"Beware the fury of a patient man."
- John Dryden, "Absolam and Achitophel"
%
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."
- John F. Kennedy
%
"I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
%
"Called up the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms regional office and asked, "What wine goes best with an M-16?" The guy who answered did his best to be helpful: "That depends. What are you smoking?"
- Michael Maciolek
%
"Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves."
- Ronald Reagan
%
~Together we lay,
Little things revitalize the
Love.
A squeeze of your hand.
%
#My sweet companion:
"A secret safe,"
I said to you.
"Believe in little things
to keep up close.
Through time and space,
let's make everyday
a surprise to share together."
Love, Me.
%
#Adjust the light,
put your head to mine.
Can you feel it?
All my love
I lay on the line.
Flawless, for you.
Know it's too deep,
to ever let go.
%
#Only you,
just you.
If you were an angel,
(I'm sure you must be)
I'd have caught a piece of heaven.
Do I know my dreams?
Should I?
I know I have you;
Walk by again,
so I can fall for you
once more."
%
"Oh, dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
%
"Those who do not understand UNIX are condemned to reinvent it, poorly."
- Henry Spencer
%
"From sun down 'till crack of dawn, dancing in the napalm..."
%
"Humankind cannot stand very much reality."
- T. S. Eliot
%
"Humor is also a way of saying something serious."
- T. S. Eliot
%
"Millions of words are written annually purporting to tell how to beat the races, whereas the best possible advice on the subject is found in the three monosyllables: 'Do not try.'"
- Dan Parker
%
"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."
- Joseph Chilton Pearce
%
"He who confers a favor should at once forget it, if he is not to show a sordid ungenerous spirit. To remind a man of a kindness conferred and to talk of it, is little different from reproach."
- Demosthenes
%
"Blame someone else and get on with your life."
- Alan Woods
%
"This became a credo of mine...attempt the impossible in order to improve your work."
- Bette Davis
%
"He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself."
- Thomas Paine
%
"...it is as hard to do your duty when men are sneering at you as when they are shooting at you."
- Woodrow Wilson
%
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
- Samuel Goldwyn, Goldwyn's Law of Contracts
%
"Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run."
- Mark Twain
%
~"Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real."
- Iris Murdoch
%
~"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love."
- Sophocles
%
"Be wiser than other people, if you can, but do not tell them so."
- Lord Chesterfield
%
"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."
- Raymond Lindquist
%
"Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens."
- Nick Diamos
%
"I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people."
- Jack Handy
%
"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete,
everybody will respect you."
- Lao-Tzu
%
"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."
- Lao-Tzu
%
"He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise"
- Lao-Tzu
%
~"To love someone deeply gives you strength.
Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage."
- Lao-Tzu
%
~"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."
- Anonymous
%
~"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."
- Ingrid Bergman
%
~"Tell me who admires and loves you,
And I will tell you who you are."
- Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve
%
"I dunno though, I thought liberty would only die to the sound of thunderous applause."
- Hal_Porter (Slashdot Comment #17365244)
%
"Upon this, one has to remark that men ought either to be well treated or crushed, because they can avenge themselves of lighter injuries, of more serious ones they cannot; therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge."
- Niccolò Machiavelli
%
"The Romans never allowed a trouble spot to remain simply to avoid going to war over it, because they knew that wars don't just go away, they are only postponed to someone else's advantage. [...] They never went by that saying which you constantly hear from the wiseacres of our day, that time heals all things. They trusted rather their own character and prudence- knowing perfectly well that time contains the seeds of all things, good as well as bad."
- Niccolò Machiavelli
%
"You must know there are two ways of contesting, the one by the law, the other by force; the first method is proper to men, the second to beasts; but because the first is frequently not sufficient, it is necessary to have recourse to the second."
- Niccolò Machiavelli
%
"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."
- Steven Weinberg
%
pay attention to backward.
someone wakes the noise up
don't be panic
%
~The heart cannot be bought or sold... only given.
%
The voices in my head are trying to ignore me.
But if I keep talking, I can drive them insane.
%
Favorite president: Richard Nixon, who has done more in my lifetime than any other U.S. politician to discredit the idea that government should wield massive and unexamined power over citizens.
%
"Assassination is the extreme form of censorship."
- George Bernard Shaw
%
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."
- George Bernard Shaw
%
How to make beer out of foo:
echo foo | tee >(cat >&2) | while read -n1 a; do echo $a; done | tee /dev/stderr | tac | tr -d $'\n' | tr 'of' 'ar' | echo b$(Boston Legal
%
"If I'd asked the customers what they wanted, they would have said "A faster horse.""
- Henry Ford
%
So Buddha walks into a pizza parlor and says: "Hey, make me one with everything."
%
Programming is like sex... make one mistake, and support it the rest of your life.
%
~I'd paint a message on a mountain for you,
Endure any fall,
To tell you that I love you.
%
"When designing an interface, imagine that your program is all that stands between the user and hot, sweaty, tangle-bedsheets-fingertips-digging-into-the-back sex."
- Randall Munroe, xkcd (comic #196)
%
~It's only you, beautiful, or I don't want anyone.
%
This world keeps spinning 'round
And around
I wanna burn your temples down
To the ground.
%
~Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unaware.
%
Because you need it, and I can.
%
~You make your own family in this world.
%
"A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time."
- Alfred E. Wiggam
%
"A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
%
A Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone, somewhere, is having fun.
%
"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science."
- Gary Zukav, "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"
%
"America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair."
- Arnold Joseph Toynbee
%
Behold the unborn fetus and
Weep salt tears crocodilian;
All life is sacred (save, of course,
An enemy civilian).
%
"Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
- Michael Sinz
%
"Training the workforce of tomorrow with today's high schools is like trying to teach kids about today's computers on a 50-year-old mainframe."
- Bill Gates
%
"Computers are merely ingenious devices to fulfill unimportant functions. The computer revolution is an explosion of nonsense."
- Neil Postman
%
"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."
- Dave Barry
%
A long memory is the most subversive idea in America.
%
Hackers do it with all sorts of characters.
%
"If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream and never be our destiny."
- René de Visme Williamson
%
~"Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love."
- Albert Einstein
%
~I am like a falling star who has finally found his place next to another in a lovely constellation where we sparkle in the heavens forever.
%
~"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
- Anais Nin
%
~"Love was to blame for this. Because when love ends, the cold is what you're left with."
%
~"There should be a minimum speed limit for people in love walking on the sidewalk. They're worse than moms with strollers."
%
< Rjx> ide?? THIS IS SATAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
%
"I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness."
- 'Hospitaller', Kingdom of Heaven
%
"Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath."
- 'Godfrey of Ibelin', Kingdom of Heaven
%
"A King may move a man, a father may claim a son, but remember that even when those who move you be Kings, or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus." Or that, "Virtue was not convenient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that."
- 'King Baldwin IV', Kingdom of Heaven
%
"You are not what you were born, but what you have it in yourself to be."
- 'Godfrey of Ibelin', Kingdom of Heaven
%
Nemo vir est qui mundum non reddat meliorem.
%
#What man is a man that does not make the world better?
%
"What man is a man who does not make the world better?"
- 'Balian of Ibelin', Kingdom of Heaven
%
This too shall pass.
%
Are you merely the sum of your parts, or are you something more?
%
Freedom is not free, it requires great sacrafice. The price is paid in blood.
%
# Queen Gorgo, 300
%
Xerxes: "Imagine what horrible fate awaits my enemies when I would gladly kill any of my own men for victory."
Spartan King Leonidas: "And I would die for any of mine."
- 300
%
# 300
%
"That's the beauty of argument. When you argue correctly, you're never wrong."
- Nick Naylor, "Thank You for Smoking"
%
I rest my cake.
%
Programming is an art form that fights back.
%
"Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, 'If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven.' Such is the rule of honour."
%
#LIME TREE (the Doubt) - accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.
%
#POPLAR TREE (the Uncertainty) - looks very decorative, not very self-confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
%
"If you turn sex into a commodity to be withheld as a bargaining chip, you have absolutely no right to complain if he finds himself another supplier. Because you're the one who set a price, and thus reduced sex to a client-whore situation within your relationship."
- Thorak (Fark.com)
%
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
%
"Arrogance has to be earned. Tell me what you've done to earn yours."
- House, M.D.
%
"You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created."
- Albert Einstein
%
When you've done something right, no one should notice that you've done anything at all.
%
I would hit it like a retard on pudding day!
%
"It [gold] gets dug out of the ground in Africa, or someplace. Then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility. Anyone watching from Mars would be scratching their head."
- Warren Buffet
%
"I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children. Because I don't think that children should be having sex."
- Jack Handey
%
"Guilt is anger directed at ourselves -- at what we did or did not do."
- Peter McWilliams
%
"Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it."
- Stephen Vizinczey
%
"Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart."
- Margaret Cho
%
"Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut."
- Robert Newton Peck
%
"If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether it was fired from within or without, we must try to extinguish it."
- Thomas Jefferson
%
"He who builds a better mousetrap these days runs into material shortages, patent-infringement suits, work stoppages, collusive bidding, discount discrimination--and taxes."
- H. E. Martz
%
"Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves."
%
It's good to be scared... it means you still have something to lose.
%
"Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom."
- Bertrand Russell
%
"The truth is that there is nothing noble in being superior to somebody else. The only real nobility is in being superior to your former self."
- Whitney Young
%
"The highest result of education is tolerance."
- Helen Keller
%
Stapp's Law: The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle.
%
The Peter Principle: In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
%
Parkinson's Law: Work expands to meet the time and money that is available.
%
Well, it's better than the dead badger I'm sleeping on!
%
I'm not as random as you think I salad.
%
"If I use sarcasm, it isn't to be rude or to show disrespect. It shows that I respect your intelligence enough to use it."
%
We have not yet begun to fight...
%
Are you watching closely?
%
# The Presteige
%
If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will?
%
"Cowards die many times before their actual deaths."
- Julius Caesar
%
"It is better to create than to learn! Creating is the essence of life."
- Julius Caesar
%
... I really like your somewhat random motives that lead you to go to rather large lengths on a whim.
%
And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
%
# The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
%
"Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power."
- Lao Tzu, "Tao Te Ching", Chapter 33
%
"... Because nothing sucks more than being all alone... no matter how many people are around."
- J.D., "Scrubs"
%
Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!
[walks out of the room]
The Mayor: He's got a point.
%
Can I freeze the 5 yr olds first to make them sting more?
%
"Let me go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call "Perry's Perspective": One, if someone is standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can't decide what they want in the half hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two, I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring Back The Porn". Three, and most importantly of all, the only way to be respected as a doctor, nay, respected as a man, is to be an island. You are born alone, you damn sure die alone. ... The point is, and you just might wanna jot this down, only the weak need help."
- Dr. Cox, "Scrubs"
%
Courage is grace under pressure.
%
"Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life."
- Dave Butler
%
Just because you two are arguing, doesn't mean one of you is right.
%
"The Optimist thinks the best of all possible world, the Pessimist fears it is true."
- J. Robert Oppenheimer
%
"When you see something that is technically sweet, you go ahead and do it and argue about what to do about it only after you've had your technical success. That is the way it was with the atomic bomb."
- J. Robert Oppenheimer
%
"There must be no barriers to freedom of inquiry ... There is no place for dogma in science. The scientist is free, and must be free to ask any question, to doubt any assertion, to seek for any evidence, to correct any errors. Our political life is also predicated on openness. We know that the only way to avoid error is to detect it and that the only way to detect it is to be free to inquire. And we know that as long as men are free to ask what they must, free to say what they think, free to think what they will, freedom can never be lost, and science can never regress."
- J. Robert Oppenheimer
%
"It is with appreciation and gratefulness that I accept from you this scroll for the Los Alamos Laboratory, and for the men and women whose work and whose hearts have made it. It is our hope that in years to come we may look at the scroll and all that it signifies, with pride. Today that pride must be tempered by a profound concern. If atomic bombs are to be added as new weapons to the arsenals of a warring world, or to the arsenals of the nations preparing for war, then the time will come when mankind will curse the names of Los Alamos and Hiroshima. The people of this world must unite or they will perish. This war that has ravaged so much of the earth, has written these words. The atomic bomb has spelled them out for all men to understand. Other men have spoken them in other times, and of other wars, of other weapons. They have not prevailed. There are some misled by a false sense of human history, who hold that they will not prevail today. It is not for us to believe that. By our minds we are committed, committed to a world united, before the common peril, in law and in humanity."
- J. Robert Oppenheimer
%
My greatest enemy is time. It is the only thing outside my power to change.
%
"You know the feeling you get when you're leaning back in your chair, and you start to fall, and you catch yourself at the last second? I feel like that all the time."
- Steven Wright
%
"The primary question was not what do we know, but how do we know it."
- Aristotle
%
"Chase after truth like hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat-tails."
- Clarence Darrow
%
"As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand."
- Josh Billings
%
"Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.'"
- Kahlil Gibran
%
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth."
- Lenin
%
"There are only two ways of telling the complete truth--anonymously and posthumously."
- Thomas Sowell
%
"Reputation is what other people know about you. Honour is what you know about yourself."
- Lois McMaster Bujold
%
"Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
%
"I said to myself, I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me - shapes and ideas so near to me - so natural to my way of being and thinking that it hasn't occurred to me to put them down. I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught."
- Georgia O'Keeffe
%
"Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats."
- Howard Aiken
%
"The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal."
- Aristotle
%
"A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked."
- John Gall, Systemantics
%
"UNIX was never designed to keep people from doing stupid things, because that policy would also keep them from doing clever things."
- Doug Gwyn
%
"Never whistle while you're pissing. If you whistle while you're pissing, you have two minds where one is quite sufficient. A divided mind is easily conquered."
- Robert Anton Wilson
%
"I, on the other hand, am a fully rounded human being with a degree from the university of life, a diploma from the school of hard knocks, and three gold stars from the kindergarten of getting the shiat kicked out of me."
- Capt. Blackadder
%
"Where an excess of power prevails, property of no sort is duly respected. No man is safe in his opinions, his person, his faculties, or his possessions."
- James Madison
%
War is Peace
"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."
- George W. Bush
Freedom is Slavery
"Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do."
- Rudy Giuliani
Ignorance is Strength
"The truth is a useless commodity that will hang around your neck like an albatross all the way to the homeless shelter."
- Jeb Bush
%
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
- Douglas Adams
%
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
- Douglas Adams
%
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
- Douglas Adams
%
"Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems."
- Scott Adams
%
"I know I was shot a couple of times - it felt like being hit by a nail gun - but I didn't worry too much. I was too concerned about being on fire."
%
WARNING:
Don't put extension cords in your mouth and chew on them and put your tongue in them and slobber in them. Eye sockets are incompatible with electrical sockets. So don't plug things into your eye sockets. Don't have sex with electrical connectors. They're male and female but they'll give you a bad case of "electrocute your genitals". If civilian contractors want to try this on you just tell them the only information you'll be able to give them is whether the sex was any good and it'll probably be really bad.
%
"This kills you... This kills you and everyone else in the room."
- Adam Savage
%
Whenever I hear the word activist, I reach for my revolver.
%
"A huge proportion of people cannot make *correct and accurate* generalisations of principles. They have to learn everything as if it's an unrelated piece of crap, BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID! PEOPLE ARE STUPID! YES, THAT'S RIGHT, I'M SHOUTING NOW! AIEEEE!! PEOPLE ARE STUPID!"
- Thorfinn, "Scary Devil Monestary"
%
"Life...it's like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you ever get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this undefinable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure once in a while there's a peanut butter cup or an English toffee but they're gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. You end up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts. If you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers."
- Cigarette Smoking Man, "X Files"
%
"Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god."
- Jean Rostand
%
"God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented, in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions, it is lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. ...And what country can preserve its liberties, if it's rulers are not warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to the facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
It is its natural manure."
- Thomas Jefferson
%
"What this new technique, and so many others like it, tell us is that there is nothing special about human reproduction, nor any other aspect of human biology, save one. The specialness of humanity is found only between our ears; if you go looking for it anywhere else, you'll be disappointed."
- Lee Silver, mouse geneticist, responding to a bioethicist concerned that a technique that might make it possible to produce human sperm from the testes of an animal challenged "the specialness of humanity." From Remaking Eden.
%
"I don't think there was any Arab in the seventies who did not want Saddam Hussein to have an atomic weapon. They wanted him to have military parity. Israel had atomic weapons. The Arabs wanted an Arab country to have atomic weapons. Iraq was the head of the pack and therefore all Arabs supported Saddam Hussein. I have news for you: I don't think there are many Arabs at this moment in time--you can exclude me out of this statement at this moment in time--who do not want Saddam Hussein to have an atomic weapon now. They don't look at it as weapons of mass destruction. They look at it as transfer of technology. That the Arabs have done it. The Arabs have joined the modern world. That's the way they see it. And that pleases them. The fact that Saddam Hussein eliminates people, kills innocent men, uses a chemical weapon against his own people, is actually in a way secondary to this image. The Iraqi people are concerned with the latter. They suffer because of the latter. But the Arab people outside of Iraq do not suffer because Saddam Hussein eliminates people, because he doesn't eliminate them. He eliminates Iraqis."
- Saïd K. Aburish
%
""A contract," said my B-law professor back when, "should be written under the assumption that you and the nice person you're dealing with will both be hit by a truck as you leave the building arm-in-arm after signing it, and your heirs will hate each other's guts." I have always considered this an extremely wise bit of advice."
- Patricia Wrede
%
"The biggest immigration problem we got in America is a government that's not doing its job. I don't like illegal immigration, but I'll tell you something: I don't run stop lights. But you put me out on the road at two o'clock in the morning on the way to the all-night drugstore to get medicine for my babies, and you give me a stop light that is stuck on red, and no traffic in sight, and I'm gonna go through that red light."
- Dick Armey
%
Move as swift as a wind, stay as steady as forest, attack as fierce as fire, unmovable defence like a mountain.
%
"To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt."
- E.C. Stanton
%
"Always burn bridges behind you so that no one can follow you. If you know no one is following you, you are forced to always look forward."
%
"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government."
- Edward Abbey
%
"Unenlightened people are forever perplexed by the fact that other people [...] see 'reality' differently."
- M2
%
"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they, wont they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever - give me a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with and half the ones that get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker I don't care. Because I do... believe in it. Bottom line... is couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else but the big difference is that they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right and they're real lucky... one of them will say something."
- Dr. Cox, "Scrubs"
%
"When even one American - who has done nothing wrong - is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth - then all Americans are in peril."
- Harry S. Truman
%
"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election."
- Bill Vaughan
%
"Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
- Denis Diderot
%
"You've got to dare and fail and dare again in order to make it in life. Tough times don't last. Tough people do."
- P-Quin (Fark)
%
< snacky> nd: if it gets bigger, that means quality is being added.
< nd> That's what she said.
%
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Perhaps. Perhaps not, sir.
Capt. Picard: That's hardly a scientific observation, Commander.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Captain, the most elementary and valuable statement in science, the beginning of wisdom is "I do not know". I do not know what that is, sir.
%
"Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'."
%
We have done the impossible, and that makes us mighty.
%
# Firefly! First ep.
%
"Seize the time, Meribor. Live now; make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again."
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
%
"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
%
"There comes a point in your life when you get tired of fixing everything and wiping everyone's ass. But it's not giving up. It's realizing that you don't need certain people and the bullshit and drama they bring to your life."
%
"Overload the police with victimless crimes and other minutiae and eventually only creeps and bullies remain cops."
- Rick Gaber.
%
"You say that as if you have a choice, Doctor. You see, the only way our client wins here is with your testimony. So, the clerk will swear you in. You'll take an oath to God, but as a scientist, you are bound to an even higher standard. To believe in God, all you need is faith. To believe in science, you need to see the truth. You need to speak the truth. Am I right? If asked certain questions under oath, you will answer truthfully, because that's who you are."
- Alan Shore, "Boston Legal"
%
"Don't act like a farking asshole solves about 95% of the problems of the world."
- kroonermanblack (Fark.com)
%
Do the impossible, see the invisible, touch the untouchable, break the unbreakable, kick reason to the curb.
%
"A philosophical opinion about the nature of the universe, i.e. atheism or non-theism, which is held by the vast majority of top American scientists - and probably the majority of the intelligentsia generally - is so abhorrent to the American electorate that no candidate for popular election dare affirm it in public. If I'm right, this means that high office in the greatest country in the world is barred to the very people best qualified to hold it: the intelligentsia, unless they are prepared to lie about their beliefs. To put it bluntly, American political opportunities are heavily-loaded against those who are simultaneously intelligent and honest."
- Richard Dawkins
%
You're fighting the weight of the world,
But no one can save you this time.
Close your eyes.
You can find all you need in your mind.
%
Willing to risk salvation,
To escape from isolation.
%
Reflections of reality
Are slowly coming into view.
How in the hell could you possible forgive me?
After all the hell I put you through.
%
I had gotten used to being a soul destroyed.
She comes in apparently to fill the void.
%
"There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians."
- George Pompidou
%
The trouble with troubleshooting is trouble shoots back.
%
"The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers."
- Sydney J. Harris
%
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
- George Carlin
%
"Rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add 'within the limits of the law,' because law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the rights of the individual."
- Thomas Jefferson
%
"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer."
- George Patton
%
"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom."
- George Patton
%
"Nobody ever defended anything successfully, there is only attack and attack and attack some more."
- George Patton
%
"Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash."
- George Patton
%
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."
- George Patton
%
"The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. That's the time to listen to every fear you can imagine! When you have collected all the facts and fears and made your decision, turn off all your fears and go ahead!"
- George Patton
%
"Better to fight for something than live for nothing."
- George Patton
%
"Never yield ground. It is cheaper to hold what you have than to retake what you have lost."
- George Patton
%
"There is no approved solution to any tactical situation."
- George Patton
%
"You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan's Island."
- Ron Jeremy
%
"My take on this, like anything, is simple. You cannot be both a perpetrator and a victim. Any law that allows for such a condition should be illegal."
- nightfire (Fark User #324781)
%
~If I thought they would listen - and they haven't so far - I'd tell them all how beautiful they are.
%
The last head falls to the ground
There is no one left alive.
They thought that they could take me down,
But it is not my time to die.
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"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
- Dr. Howard Thurman
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Time is the fire in which we burn.
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"It is not accurate to say that there is horror in the universe. The universe is horror."
- Dr. Werner Heisenberg, Physicist
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"I think the first virtue is to restrain the tongue; he approaches nearest to gods who knows how to be silent, even though he is in the right."
- Cato the Elder
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"Silence is a text easy to misread."
- A. A. Attanasio
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"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."
- Steve Jobs
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"The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool."
- Jane Wagner
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"It is impossible to go through life without trust: That is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself."
- Graham Greene
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"The important thing is not to stop questioning."
- Albert Einstein
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"Villains who twirl their mustaches are easy to spot. Those who clothe themselves in good deeds are well camouflaged, waiting for the right climate in which to flourish, spreading fear in the name of righteousness."
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
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"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest."
- Mark Twain
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"Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment."
- Mark Twain
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"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare."
- Mark Twain
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"Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you opportunity to commit more."
- Mark Twain
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"My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death."
- Mark Twain
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Reality is pessimistic.
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It doesn't really matter; the judgement of other men... I know what I've done.
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"A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it."
- David Stevens
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There's nothing like the impossible to bolster one's miraculous reputation.
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#Level 0: I overcame obliviousness
I now realize there is something here to learn.
Level 1: I overcame intimidation
I feel I can learn this subject or skill. I know enough about it so that I am not intimidated by people who know more than me.
Level 2: I overcame incoherence
I no longer feel that I'm pretending or hand-waving. I feel reasonably competent to discuss or practice. What I say sounds like what I think I know.
Level 3: I overcame competence.
Now I feel productively self-critical, rather than complacently good enough. I want to take risks, invent, teach, and push myself. I want to be with other enthusiastic students.
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In the grand scheme of things I'm an ape on a string
But I will take my master down with me.
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"The one who treats me well is my leader, the one who treats me cruelly is my enemy."
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"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
- Mario Andretti
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"Do it no matter what. If you believe in it, it is something very honourable. If somebody around you or your family does not understand it, then that's their problem. But if you do have a passion, an honest passion, just do it."
- Mario Andretti
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Everything comes to those who wait - except a cat.
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# Mario Andretti
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The harder you grip, the more slip through your fingers...
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Fate protects fools, little children and ships named "Enterprise".
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Homophobes are gay.
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Data: "Would you choose one life over one thousand, sir?"
Picard: "I refuse to let arithmetic decide questions like that."
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"There can be no justice so long as laws are absolute. Even life itself is an exercise in exceptions."
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
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# "Justice"
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"No power in the universe can hope to stop the force of evolution. Be warned. The execution of Mister Ramsey and his followers may elevate them to the status of martyrs. Martyrs cannot be silenced."
- Commander Riker, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
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# "Angel One"
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"Thinking about what you can't control only wastes energy and creates its own enemy."
- Lieutenant Worf, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
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"Only fools have no fear."
- Lieutenant Worf, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
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# "Coming of Age"
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"My brother, it is you who does not see. You look for battles in the wrong place. The true test of a warrior is not without, it is within."
- Lieutenant Worf, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
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# "Heart of Glory"
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"I hope I met death with my eyes wide open."
- Lieutenant Yar, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
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"My friend Data, you see things with the wonder of a child. And that makes you more human than any of us."
- Lieutenant Yar, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
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"You [Picard] who have the heart of an explorer and the soul of a poet. So, you'll understand when I say, 'Death is that stage in which one exists only in the memory of others', which is why it is not an end. No goodbyes, just good memories."
- Lieutenant Yar, "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
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# "Skin of Evil"
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"Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one."
- Marcus Aurelius
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The plural of "anecdote" is not "data".
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We're talking about a tentacled flying lampfucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?
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"A process cannot be understood by stopping it. Understanding must move with the flow of the process, must join it and flow with it."
- Frank Herbert, "Dune"
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"Much that was called religion has carried an unconscious attitude of hostility toward life. True religion must teach that life is filled with joys pleasing to the eye of God, that knowledge without action is empty. All men must see that the teaching of religion by rules and rote is largely a hoax. The proper teaching is recognized with ease. You can know it without fail because it awakens within you that sensations which tells you this is something you've always known."
- Frank Herbert, "Dune"
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"If you need something to worship, then worship life - all life, every last crawling bit of it! We're all in this beauty together!"
- Frank Herbert, "Dune Messiah"
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"Any delusions of Free Will he harbored now must be merely the prisoner rattling his cage. His curse lay in the fact that he saw the cage. He saw it!"
- Frank Herbert, "Dune Messiah"
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There are problems in this universe for which there are no answers. Nothing. Nothing can be done.
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# Dune Messiah
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"Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore, is the method of choosing leaders."
- Frank Herbert, "Children of Dune"
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"Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristocratic forms. No government in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, government tends more and more to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class - whether that class be hereditary royalty, oligarchs of financial empires, or entrenched bureaucracy."
- Frank Herbert, "Children of Dune"
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"You seldom find real loyalties in commerce ... Men must want to do things of their own innermost drives. People, not commercial organisations or chains of command, are what make great civilizations work, every civilization depends upon the quality of the individuals it produces. If you overorganize humans, over-legalize them, suppress their urge to greatness - they cannot work and their civilization collapses."
- Frank Herbert, "Children of Dune"
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"I'm going to rub your faces in things you try to avoid. I don't find it strange that all you want to believe is only that which comforts you. How else do humans invent the traps which betray us into mediocrity? How else do we define cowardice?"
- Frank Herbert, "Children of Dune"
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"To stay awake all night adds another day to your life."
- Frank Herbert, "Children of Dune"
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"It is said that the only fear we cannot correct is the fear of our own mistakes."
- Frank Herbert, "Children of Dune"
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"Often there's no need to tear off an arm to remove a splinter."
- Frank Herbert, "Children of Dune"
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"You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die."
- Frank Herbert, "God Emperor of Dune"
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"What do such machines really do? They increase the number of things we can do without thinking. Things we do without thinking - there's the real danger."
- Frank Herbert, "God Emperor of Dune"
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"Most civilization is based on cowardice. It's so easy to civilize by teaching cowardice. You water down the standards which would lead to bravery. You restrain the will. You regulate the appetites. You fence in the horizons. You make a law for every movement. You deny the existence of chaos. You teach even the children to breathe slowly. You tame."
- Frank Herbert, "God Emperor of Dune"
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"Bureaucracy destroys initiative. There is little that bureaucrats hate more than innovation, especially innovation that produces better results than the old routines. Improvements always make those at the top of the heap look inept. Who enjoys appearing inept?"
- Frank Herbert, "Heretics of Dune"
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"Some people never observe anything. Life just happens to them. They get by on little more than a kind of dumb persistence, and they resist with anger and resentment anything that might lift them out of that false serenity."
- Frank Herbert, "Heretics of Dune"
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"You could drag humankind almost anywhere by manipulating the enormous energies of procreation. You could goad humans into actions they would never have believed possible. ... This energy must have an outlet. Bottle it up and it becomes monstrously dangerous. Redirect it and it will sweep over anything in its path. This is an ultimate secret of all religions."
- Frank Herbert, "Heretics of Dune"
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"Laws to suppress tend to strengthen what they would prohibit. This is the fine point on which all the legal professions of history have based their job security."
- Frank Herbert, "Chapterhouse: Dune"
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"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you a cover up. Real boats rock."
- Frank Herbert, "Chapterhouse: Dune"
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"Confine yourself to observing and you always miss the point of your own life. The object can be stated this way: Live the best life you can. Life is a game whose rules you learn if you leap into it and play it to the hilt. Otherwise, you are caught off balance, continually surprised by the shifting play."
- Frank Herbert, "Chapterhouse: Dune"
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"All governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological personalities. It is not that power corrupts but that it is magnetic to the corruptible."
- Frank Herbert, "Chapterhouse: Dune"
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"To know a thing well, know it limits. Only when pushed beyond its tolerances will true nature be seen. Do not depend only on theory if your life is at stake."
- Frank Herbert, "Chapterhouse: Dune"
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"Give me the judgment of balanced minds in preference to laws every time. Codes and manuals create patterned behavior. All patterned behavior tends to go unquestioned, gathering destructive momentum."
- Frank Herbert, "Chapterhouse: Dune"
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"Any training school for free citizens must begin by teaching distrust, not trust. It must teach questioning, not acceptance of stock answers."
- Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson, "Dune: House Corrino"
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"With all the artillery, ships and manpower in the military, our commanders often forget that ideas can be the greatest weapon of all."
- Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson, "Dune: The Machine Crusade"
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"He wondered, as he had many times wondered before, whether he himself was a lunatic. Perhaps a lunatic was simply a minority of one."
- George Orwell, "1984"